Got a Short Temper? Here's How to Deal with It and Stay in Control (2024)

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You find yourself stuck in traffic when a hasty driver cuts you off. Before you know it, your blood pressure has spiked and you impulsively yell an obscenity out the window.

This kind of scenario happens to everyone at some point. Frequent outbursts that escalate quickly, though, may be a sign that you’re dealing with a short temper.

You’re probably at least somewhat aware of how your short temper affects those around you. But being quick to anger can also affect you in surprising ways and take a toll on your health.

Fortunately, short tempers don’t have to be long-lived.

The first step in managing a short temper is learning to recognize the symptoms. These anger episodes generally come on with little to no warning.

They tend to have symptoms that are both physical and psychological, such as:

  • rage in the form of yelling and shouting
  • chronic irritability
  • heart palpitations
  • racing thoughts
  • loss of control

A short temper can impact you in a range of ways. According to one 2010 study, it can also contribute to making you more prone to substance use and overdoing it on caffeine.

Uncontrolled anger also triggers our body’s fight-or-flight response, which includes the release of stress hormones.

This frequent flood of stress hormones can eventually cause long-term health problems including:

  • insomnia
  • high blood pressure
  • headaches and stomach problems
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • heart attack
  • stroke

Holding on to anger quickly drains your energy and can make everything in your life seem bleak.

The following strategies can help you get a better handle on your temper.

Practice mindfulness

Incorporating mindfulness into your regular routine can help you better understand and control the reactivity that often drives a short temper.

The next time you feel your temper rising, try this exercise:

  1. Find a quiet room and a comfortable place to sit.
  2. Close your eyes and notice the physical sensation of anger travel through your body, whether it’s through your rapid heart rate or your clenched jaw.
  3. Inhale deeply and allow all thoughts of anger to release as you exhale.
  4. Repeat 2 to 3 times per day or whenever you start to feel anger arise.

Refocus your energy

Come up with some concrete strategies for dealing with situations that you know will trigger your temper.

If you know your daily commute tends to set you off, for example, set aside some time to focus on alternative options. Waking up earlier to catch an emptier train or carpooling with a coworker might make all the difference.

Even if it doesn’t resolve the situation immediately, turning your attention to problem-solving can give you a greater sense of control and keep you from blowing up.

Get physical

When you start to feel your blood boil, work it off with an exercise session. Go out for a quick run, play a sport that gets your heart pumping, or swim a few laps in the neighborhood pool.

Regular physical activity is an effective way of increasing self-control and immediately calming your mind and body.

Use a daily mood chart

Track episodes of anger and irritability by keeping a daily record of your moods. You can do this in a notebook or even download one of the countless mood-tracking apps available for your phone.

To get an extra clear picture of your moods, try to also take note of your intake of caffeine or other substances, quality of sleep, stressful situations or conversations, and any underlying emotions like fear or disappointment.

A short temper can also be a sign of an underlying condition like depression or intermittent explosive disorder (IED), which is characterized by impulsive and aggressive behavior.

If your anger has become overwhelming or is causing you to hurt yourself or those around you, it’s time to find professional help.

Here are some signs to watch for:

  • physical violence, like slapping, pushing, or shoving
  • punching walls, breaking plates, or damaging property
  • assault or domestic violence
  • threats
  • self-harm or thoughts of suicide

Reaching out to a mental health expert can provide the right treatment and help you find ways of managing explosive anger. A psychiatrist may also recommend medication for anxiety or depression.

Find help now

If you’re considering suicide or have thoughts of harming yourself:

Speaking with specialists can also help you find your state’s resources for treatment if you don’t have health insurance.

Was this helpful?

If you’re with someone who is expressing anger by becoming violent or abusive, your safety may be at risk. Remove yourself from the situation. Protecting your own safety is your first priority. Reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800−799−7233 for extra support.

Having a temper from time to time is a normal part of being human. When anger comes on at the drop of a pin, though, it can cause chaos in your relationships, health, and overall well-being.

Cindy Lamothe is a freelance journalist based in Guatemala. She writes often about the intersections between health, wellness, and the science of human behavior. She’s written for The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, and many more. Find her at cindylamothe.com.

Got a Short Temper? Here's How to Deal with It and Stay in Control (2024)

FAQs

Got a Short Temper? Here's How to Deal with It and Stay in Control? ›

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

How do you deal with a short temper? ›

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

How do you stay with a quick tempered person? ›

If someone is aware they have temper issues, support them in getting over this habit. You can encourage their good behaviour and ask them to monitor it themselves. Additionally, they can also pick up some techniques such a meditation and/or workout sessions that may allow a more productive outlet for the anger.

What are the 5 keys to controlling anger? ›

5 Steps to Control Your Anger
  • Understand Your Conflict Hot Buttons. ...
  • Recognize Early Signs of Anger. ...
  • Don't Suppress Your Anger. ...
  • Regulate Your Emotions. ...
  • Express Your Emotions Constructively.
Apr 6, 2015

Why am I suddenly so short tempered? ›

Irritability can be caused by hunger, fatigue, drug and alcohol use and mental and physical health conditions. Physical health conditions can include: dementia. premenstrual syndrome (PMS)

How to control anger outbursts? ›

Here are some techniques to help you stay calm.
  1. Check yourself. It's hard to make smart choices when you're in the grips of a powerful negative emotion. ...
  2. Don't dwell. ...
  3. Change the way you think. ...
  4. Relax. ...
  5. Improve your communication skills. ...
  6. Get active. ...
  7. Recognize (and avoid) your triggers.

Why am I losing my temper so easily? ›

Many things can trigger anger, including stress, family problems, and financial issues. For some people, anger results from an underlying disorder, such as alcoholism or depression. Anger itself isn't considered a disorder, but anger is a known symptom of several mental health conditions.

Are short-tempered people emotional? ›

Many short-tempered people report feeling flustered easily. They may have racing thoughts, where their emotions change so quickly that they cannot rationally construct responses and think decisions through.

What is a quick tempered person called? ›

quickly aroused to anger. synonyms: choleric, hot-tempered, hotheaded, irascible, short-tempered ill-natured.

How to deescalate an angry person? ›

Listen to what the issue is and the person's concerns. Offer reflective comments to show that you have heard what their concerns are. Wait until the person has released their frustration and explained how they are feeling. Look and maintain appropriate eye contact to connect with the person.

How to let go of hate? ›

If you find yourself stuck:
  1. Practice empathy. ...
  2. Ask yourself about the circ*mstances that may have led the other person to behave in such a way. ...
  3. Reflect on times when others have forgiven you.
  4. Write in a journal, pray or use guided meditation. ...
  5. Be aware that forgiveness is a process.

What are the 3 anger rules? ›

The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others.

How to remain calm when angry? ›

Visualize yourself calm

After taking a few deep breaths, close your eyes and picture yourself calm. See your body relaxed, and imagine yourself working through a stressful or anxiety-causing situation by staying calm and focused.

What emotion is behind anger? ›

Anger is often a reaction to and distraction from inner suffering—feelings such as sadness, powerlessness, shame, anxiety, inadequacy, and isolation.

What deficiency causes short temper? ›

Irritability causes include vitamin deficiencies, hormonal imbalances, or lifestyle triggers (such as increased stress). Symptoms of severe vitamin B1 (thiamine) and B6 deficiencies may include irritability.

How to fix short temper? ›

Try to maintain healthy habits, including getting enough sleep and exercise. Learn and practice deep breathing techniques and other relaxation techniques, and use them when you start to feel your heart rate increase or your anger rise. Getting help can also help you learn to control your short temper.

Why do I get angry quickly? ›

Causes of anger

Some common things that make people feel angry include: being treated unfairly and feeling powerless to do anything about it. feeling threatened or attacked. other people not respecting your authority, feelings or property.

What medication is used for short temper? ›

According to research, SSRIs that help with anger include citalopram (Celexa), fluoxetine (Prozac), sertraline (Zoloft), among others. Sertraline seems to have the most supporting data. Other classes of antidepressants, like serotonin norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), aren't widely used for treating anger.

What is a short tempered person like? ›

Every short-tempered person is, by their nature, impatient. They want events to occur immediately and get frustrated by waiting. Often, when they are forced to wait, short-tempered people respond in a negative manner. They could be violent or threaten others.

What are the main causes of anger? ›

Common causes of anger
  • Stress.
  • Not feeling appreciated or treated fairly.
  • Financial challenges.
  • Work or relationship issues.
  • Car accidents or bad traffic.
  • Violence or abuse.

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